Kenny Bayside

I have a wide assortment of loyal friends from all walks of life. One friend in particular I call Kenny Bayside, even though that’s not his real name. He is not the kind of guy you can call and have a two hour conversation about how life is treating you. But he and I do share a special relationship.

He is a wealthy man, and enjoys life on his own terms. He has no wife or girlfriend, loves his job, his brother, and during the summer he always takes Fridays off to go to the beach at the crack of dawn where he sits in the sun smoking a fine cigar until he gets hungry.

On occasion he will give me a call shortly before noon and tell me to meet him at Peter Luger in Great Neck. No questions asked, I jump in the shower, and drive down there and usually have to wait a few minutes because he is always late.

The manager and waiters know him well; he is a frequent customer. He takes me out just to find out what’s new in my life and how I am doing. He sees nothing but positive things in every aspect of my life, even when I feel differently. He is a bit of a lunatic of sorts, and put him in a crowd and he’ll come out with things completely off the wall. It’s quite a spectacle really. He has no tolerance for stupidity and people who are full of shit. I have seen him rip people to shreds when he sees through their bullshit. One guy we call Barney the Dinosaur tells nothing but lies about his apparent covert military background and highly successful hedge fund operation he ripped apart so effectively he finally left in tears.

Now, he is a puny little guy with a very loud mouth, but he gets away with murder because he’s so damn brilliant and thinks so fast on his feet nobody can touch him, and if anybody tried he has enough friends to back him. He gets respect, even if he is a raving lunatic. I guess that’s what I love most about him.

He read the first chapter of Swiss Chocolate before it was published and told me I had an instant winner.  I asked him if he wanted to read the rest of the book, and he told me he didn’t need to. The first chapter told him everything he needed to know about how well the book was going to do. I left it at that.

He is proud of me for persevering and following my dream of becoming a published writer, and told me 90% of the American population doesn’t have what it takes to get where I am. He may be exaggerating, but he also loves the fact that I am doing well in my job, and that now that my divorce is over I can really move on with my life. He sees nothing but good in me.

When I have money (which is rare) I sometimes give him a call and invite him out to dinner. Tomorrow night we are going to Uncle Jack’s on Bell Boulevard in Bayside. It rivals Luger as far as quality, but the atmosphere is much nicer. One hundred dollars per head, including appetizers, but the food and service are impeccable. Looking forward to seeing one of my good buddies and enjoying a truly delicious meal.

Love to all!

James M. Weil