Horror Stories on Match.com

I recently reactivated my account with Match.com. I have had the account for years, but some of the lunatics I went out on dates with made me shy away from there for a very long time. And this is coming from someone who knows he’s a lunatic!

I can’t tell you how many women have asked me to meet them in restaurants and then stick me with the bill, only to never hear from them again. And several women have recently complained to me that men constantly take ten years off their ages to get their foot in the door. There seems to be a bit of animosity on Match.com. Many women I have corresponded with seem to think that most men are intrinsically dishonest. I think everyone has been burned to some degree because it is so easy to meet someone and be completely disappointed with what they see or find out about whom they are dating once they meet them in person.

Now, my profile is carefully worded. I do not come out and say I am bipolar, but I do talk about my passion for writing and editing. I am pretty honest about myself without going into too much detail. I also mention that my debut novel has just been published, and that if they like they can look me up on Amazon. There they will find my blog feed on my author page, where they can read all my posts I make about myself and how I feel about life. It doesn’t get any more honest from there, and if they can handle it, there is a possibility of some sort of connection.

Every woman without exception talks about how upbeat they are, how much they love life and live it to the fullest, that they are satisfied with who and where they are but are looking for their soul-mate to complete them, that family means everything, and how many great friends they have. They talk about their interests and what they do, what they are looking for in a man, and how much they love to travel to exotic places. What strikes me the most is that every profile is almost exactly the same with the exception of a few minor details.

This is all about salesmanship. Women send out hooks in hopes of finding the perfect man, but online dating has made it all too easy for people to simply speed date. I have one hard and fast rule: If you want to meet me it must be in a coffee shop on a weekend afternoon—no exceptions. Coffee and conversation for an hour is more than enough time to figure out if I am interested in pursuing a relationship further. And I don’t a give a damn what any woman says about how fulfilled and happy she is on her profile. Most women my age have been through at least one horrific divorce and have some serious emotional scars and plenty of baggage to go with it. Life will do that to you.

I skim through profiles and read them carefully, knowing full well there is a lot to be read between the lines. I don’t wink; emails are far more personal and display my interest in finding more about a woman who has caught my eye. And I do not respond to women who do not post their pictures. A picture tells a thousand words. Oh, and one other thing, many women say they are successful entrepreneurs and are looking for a financially-secure man. That's like a five-alarm fire going off in my head.

So, I will try Match.com for a little while and see what happens. If nothing else, I will have some good material for future stories. By the way, as a literary agent who has worked for Chamein Canton Literary Agency for the past six years, I have read some hysterical proposals for nonfiction books written by women who have been put through the wringer in online dating forums. There are actually a lot of them out there, and some of these stories will make you laugh hysterically. We live in interesting times. And it keeps getting more and more interesting as time goes on.



All my love!



James M. Weil